This may be a difficult read for some, but try to see men from a different angle and not through the lens of the femine.

What is Manifestation and Law of Attraction?

When I broke I had one question - Why do I feel the way I do?

In the quest for success, many presume that the amalgamation of skill, authority, and financial prowess marks the zenith of achievement. Yet, experience and observation reveal a more complex tapestry defining true success. It's not merely about elevating oneself to a pedestal of societal recognition but about finding harmony in one's purpose, happiness, and, fundamentally, the environment one thrives in. Success, for many, is an external validation of achievement. However, this perception barely scratches the surface of what it truly means to be successful. The essence lies not in the accumulation of wealth or influence but in the ability to foster genuine relationships, nurture a sense of purpose, and, most importantly, cultivate an environment conducive to growth. The Role of Environment in Shaping Success A pivotal realisation in my journey has been that while skill, talent, passion, and hard work are critical, they pale in comparison to the influence of one's environment. This concept is subtly mirrored in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, although its interpretation requires delicacy. The foundational needs—physiological and safety—are undeniably crucial. Yet, their fulfillment alone doesn't guarantee success. It's the higher levels, particularly love, belongingness, and ultimately self-actualisation, that are the true catalysts for success. Breaking Maslow's Mold: The Path to True Success The journey to success often involves adhering to conventional paths, much like following Maslow's model. However, those who achieve remarkable success tend to deviate from this path, prioritising purpose and connection over mere survival or conformity. True success, therefore, might be better represented not by a pyramid but by a diamond—a symbol of strength, brilliance, and multifaceted depth. However like the diamond they are tought to find and the environment in which they reside can be a difficult environement to access. The Diamond Framework for Achieving Success To attain true success, one must embark on a journey of self-discovery, knowing oneself fully. This self-awareness breeds confidence and self-esteem, propelling one towards self-actualisation. However, the journey doesn't stop there. Success is a symphony played on the strings of thought, emotion, alignment with like-minded individuals, and a nurturing environment. 1. Thought: Knowing what you want. 2. Emotion: Understanding why you want it. 3. Alignment: Surrounding yourself with people who share your values and vision. 4. Environment: Being in a place that amplifies your desires and aspirations. It's a harmonious blend of these elements, set against the backdrop of a supportive environment, that paves the way for true success. The Mentorship Paradigm: From Luke Skywalker to Harry Potter Every iconic success story, from fictional heroes like Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter to real-life titans, features a pivotal moment of mentorship—a guide who says, "I've got you." This mentorship is a testament to the power of connection and authenticity. It's about showing up as your true self and creating a ripple effect that transcends your immediate surroundings. Success Redefined: A Ripple Across the World Success, in its most profound sense, is about more than just personal achievement. It's about creating connections that foster a broader impact, embodying your authentic self in a way that resonates with others and inspires a collective movement towards a greater good. In a world that often equates success with material gain, it's crucial to remember the deeper dimensions of success. It's not just about what you achieve but how you achieve it—through authenticity, purposeful connections, and a supportive environment that resonates with your true self. If you are still searching If you are still searching, waiting, although you are taking action then fear not, keep showing up to quote Winson Churchill "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It's the courage to continue that counts"

In 2018 I broke - I made a promise that I didn't want anyone to go through what I went through but this is what I have realised.

Forging Authentic Paths in a Mainstream World: Insights from Coffee Choices to Life's Biggest Decisions

In the ever-evolving landscape of business, understanding the human element—particularly the dichotomy between those who take and those who give—is crucial. At the heart of this understanding is a simple, yet profound concept: the importance of "sitting in the mud." For the heart-centered individuals among us, those whose essence is to support, uplift, and contribute to the collective well-being, the journey is often marked by selfless giving. Yet, this path is not without its challenges. The primary struggle for these altruistic souls is the depletion of their energy, not by the act of giving, but by the lack of reciprocal support and understanding. In a world that increasingly values quick fixes and tangible gains, the heart-centered find themselves in a precarious position. When they falter, when they find themselves "stuck in the mud," what they need most is not solutions or advice, but companionship. They need someone to simply be with them in their moment of vulnerability, to acknowledge their struggle without judgment or haste to rectify it. However, the reality often deviates from this ideal. Instead of presence, heart-centered individuals are met with well-intentioned solutions or, in more disheartening scenarios, abandonment. This dynamic forces them into silence, bearing their burdens alone to avoid burdening others. The irony is palpable: those who give the most find themselves invisible, their contributions and their needs overshadowed by a world that moves too fast to notice. The repercussions extend beyond the personal to the professional realm. In the context of team dynamics and brand building, the undervaluing of heart-centred individuals can lead to a profound loss. These are the people who foster trust, nurture relationships, and build the kind of brand loyalty that transcends transactional interactions. Yet, when their authenticity becomes a target for the self-centred, it's not just the individual that suffers, but the entire organisational culture and, by extension, the brand itself. So, how do we address this imbalance? The first step is recognition. Recognising the invaluable contributions of heart-centred team members and understanding their unique needs is foundational. As leaders and colleagues, we must learn the art of "sitting in the mud" with them. This means offering our presence, listening without the urge to fix, and valuing their well-being as much as their output. A great question to consider it "What do you need"? Not "What do you need from me, but what do you need"? Often it's to be seen and action taken to allow them to have purpose and meaning. Many heart centred people hide their dreams to put others before them, what they need is someone to sit in the mud and say "I got you, what do you need", they don't want pulling out of the mud they need to feel valued by action, not by words. Creating an environment where vulnerability is not just accepted but valued is key. This involves cultivating a culture of empathy, where every member feels seen, heard, and appreciated for their authentic selves. In such an environment, the heart-centred can thrive, and their propensity for giving can be sustained and protected. In conclusion, the strength of a team, and by extension a brand, lies in its ability to embrace and support all its members, especially those whose default mode is to give. By learning to sit in the mud with our heart-centred colleagues, we not only uplift them but elevate our collective potential. It's in these moments of shared vulnerability that the deepest connections are formed, laying the groundwork for a brand built on genuine trust and unwavering loyalty. This is how you create a brand that people love and connect to because it transcends the self to serve the world. If you resonate with this blog then why not get in touch. Need someone to help you step into your authentic self and take back control

Why Choose Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy? It's a common crossroads many of us face: feeling the weight of life's challenges and yet seeking support is so difficult, hesitating at the thought of investing in ourselves financially, more over why should you choose Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy over traditional methods, and what is the real cost? The Price Tag vs. The Treasure Within Before delving into the financial aspects, let's explore what Transformational Life Coaching is. It's a process that guides you in exploring and rearranging your thoughts, emotions, and actions to align more closely with your true self and your deepest aspirations. It's not just about solving a problem; it's about embarking on a journey of self-realisation and empowerment. Who is supporting your growth? Let's consider a few questions around the choices you may be making at the moment. What aspects of my life could benefit from change? Why do I feel these areas are important? How are you navigating this challenge at the moment? How important is it for you to make that change? Understanding the Investment Cost Concerns - The Initial Hurdle: Yes, my services come with a price tag. It's an investment of your resources, and it's natural to be cautious. However balancing cost of the impact of your life always has a price. The Misconception Transformational Life Coaching isn't counselling or therapy. Counselling focuses on addressing specific issues and emotions, Therapy delves deeper into understanding and healing psychological wounds, Life Coaching is a professional partnership that empowers individuals to set and achieve meaningful goals, maximise their potential, and lead more fulfilling lives. Transformational Life Coaching combines everything into one powerful modality, empowering individuals to achieve their goals and create lasting positive change, by finding the root cause to the challenge then providing a path to bring these new insights into your reality. Often, we view such services in the same light as buying a tangible product. However, Transformational Life Coaching is an investment in your most valuable asset – YOU. Value and Return Beyond Monetary Gains: The returns from Transformational Life Coaching are not always quantifiable in currency. Would you like to manifest improved mental health, better relationships, career advancement, and overall life satisfaction? The positive changes you will experience often radiate into other areas of your life, creating a compounding effect of benefits. Anyone who knows about investing, knows the power of compounding, this creates a ripple effect where one small move can create a wave that changes your life forever. Many talking therapies feel more like taking the heavy pack off your back so you can rest, cope and manage that weight. Why not travel lighter, smarter and quicker. How do you presently measure the value of personal growth and happiness? What price are you putting on your well-being and fulfilment? Why do you feel change can't happen? What do you need to make that change? The Power of Transformational Coaching Why take the next step? I offer personalised support, tailored to your unique challenges and goals, empowering you to feel safe and supported allowing you to break through the loneliness we often find ourselves submerged in. This individualised approach ensures that you're not just receiving generic advice, but a roadmap designed specifically for your journey. My role is to empower you to take charge of your life, providing tools, strategies and insights to build confidence. This is more than just logical processes, habits are driven by emotion, therefore finding the root cause to that block and barrier is at the heart of Transformational Coaching. It creates head/heart coherence. I am your partner in accountability, helping you stay on track and celebrate your milestones. The skills and insights gained from your experience extend far beyond the sessions. They become integral parts of your life, influencing your decisions and actions long-term. So before you ask what is the cost consider the following questions: What long-lasting changes do you wish to see in my life? How might the journey of coaching assist in achieving these changes? Remember, the question isn't just "What does it cost?" but rather, "What value will it bring to my life?" and "Am I ready to invest in my own growth and happiness? Why not book a FREE call and experience the value of this life changing modality today

As parents, teachers and social beings our responsibility is to ensure the next generation are stronger healthier and fitter than us.

In a world so disconnected we believe the answers to connection lie outside us, when in fact the truth lies in the shadows of the things we do not want to see How do you then navigate to build a life which brings love, peace, purpose and freedom?

Have you ever looked at someone's life and wished you could be more like them?

Understanding is power Whether you are male or female it is important to understand that everything in the world is energy. We as humans, despite what you think, are just a mass of atoms combined together in an environment which we define as masculine or feminine. The purpose of this blog is first and foremost to educate you, the reader, on what is happening in the world and to show you a different perspective on how the divine masculine is being supressed to weaken our societies. Be under no illusion that the world is out of balance and everyone's power, despite their physical gender, is being used against them. Unless collectively we understand how to restore balance, then happiness, peace and abundance will not return. It’s not about penis’s and vagina’s - let me explain. The Divine Masculine and Feminine The concepts of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine have been part of human spiritual and cultural narratives for millennia. Rooted in various religious, spiritual, and philosophical traditions, these concepts have been understood and interpreted in myriad ways, they have for centuries been at the centre of power and influence throughout human history. Divine Masculine: Symbolises strength, reason, and action. It represents the qualities often associated with "yang" energy in Taoism, including assertiveness, logic, linearity, and leadership. The Divine Masculine does not solely refer to males but is a universal energy everyone possesses. Divine Feminine: Symbolises creation, intuition, and collaboration. It embodies qualities often linked with "yin" energy, such as receptivity, flow, nurturing, and patience. Like the Divine Masculine, the Divine Feminine is a universal force present within all beings. Historical Context Various cultures have revered the harmonious interplay between these energies: Hinduism: Shiva and Shakti are respectively representative of the Divine Masculine and Feminine. Their union signifies creation and the dance of life. Taoism: The Yin and Yang principle encapsulates the balancing act of the feminine and masculine energies. Native Cultures: Many indigenous cultures understand the world as a balance of these energies, seen in representations of Mother Earth and Father Sky. Religions have been attempting to educate humans on this balance and have also been the seat of power for millennia. Where religion once held power this has now passed to our politicians and world leaders. The difference? Religion and spirituality did in the most part try to bring harmony, but our present systems have become fractured and manipulated by the ego. Balance in Personal Development: Achieving balance between the Divine Masculine and Feminine is essential for personal growth and development, but also for societies to function in balance. Integration: Embracing both energies help individuals harness their full potential. Someone might have strong logical capabilities (masculine) and a deep intuitive sense (feminine), and combining these can lead to holistic decision-making. Emotional Well-being: Recognising and validating these energies within can lead to more emotional balance, reducing tendencies towards repression or overexpression. Balance in Society: Societal health is also profoundly impacted by the balance of these energies and it is why we are seeing so much conflict between the sexes. Sex energy is the most powerful energy on the planet and when you shift this balance you create chaos, chaos creates fear and fear allows manipulation. Collaboration vs. Competition: While competition is a masculine trait, collaboration is a feminine one. A society that integrates both can foster environments that encourage growth through mutual support while still valuing individual achievement. There is so much focus on the self, that collaboration is being lost between men and women, this is purposeful and the general population so not benefiting. Environmental Stewardship: The nurturing aspect of the Divine Feminine can inspire societies to care more deeply for nature and the environment, balancing the more dominant and controlling aspects of the Divine Masculine. Tell me are we seeing that feminine power of care at the moment? Imbalance and its Repercussions: Throughout history, imbalances have emerged and we are all going through that imbalance right now. Taking back control It is important that as humans we understand what is in play in the world at the moment so we do not fall into a war of disconnection, disillusion and fear. Patriarchy: Societies that have overly emphasised masculine energies often devalue or suppress feminine ones, leading to patriarchy. Such imbalances can result in aggressive expansionism, environmental degradation, and lack of communal support systems. The patriarchy is a masculine energy not a male construction, we are seeing a rise in the female patriarchy at the moment and not just men are suffering. Suppressed Masculine: Conversely, the new patriarchy is suppressing masculine energy, which results in a lack of initiative, direction, and structure in both individuals and societies. Harmonising the Divine Masculine and Feminine

A question that I have heard most of my life and one until recently I couldn't workout and that is the power of coaching

Unleashing the Power of Your Mind: Motivation, Fitness Goals, and the Role of Hypnotherapy Imagine you’re at the gym, kettlebells in hand, a sense of power and purpose coursing through you. It's not just any kettlebell, it's a heart-shaped one, symbolising the love and dedication you have towards your health. You’re not just exercising, you're expressing your commitment to a healthier, happier you. You feel driven, ready to conquer any challenge that comes your way. You're not merely working out; you're creating the real version of yourself So, what's the secret? It’s the power of the mind, your most potent tool when it comes to achieving health and fitness goals. Did you imagine that very experience in your mind, as you read the description above? How did you feel? Your Mind Shapes Your Fitness Journey You've probably heard it said that getting in shape is 80% diet, 20% exercise, but that equation is missing a crucial variable - the mind. What you think and believe significantly impacts your motivation levels and, by extension, your ability to stick to your fitness goals. Positive self-talk, visualising your goals, and maintaining an optimistic outlook can significantly impact your motivation. For example, the very act of imagining yourself exercising can actually enhance muscle memory, potentially improving your performance during the actual physical activity. When we perceive exercise as something beneficial and enjoyable rather than a chore, we're much more likely to stay committed and less likely to give up when challenges arise. Conversely, negative thoughts can act as a roadblock to your success. If you constantly tell yourself you can't do something, you're setting yourself up for failure. You have the power to create your reality, and this includes your health and fitness journey. You see your mind cannot perceive the negative, only the words you tell yourself, the pictures you paint in your mind and the emotions you attached to that experience and here's is the kicker, most of that experience is subconscious. Hypnotherapy: An Untapped Tool in Fitness If, you understand the importance of the mind in achieving your fitness goals, but how can you harness this power? This is where hypnotherapy steps in. Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic technique that uses hypnosis to create a state of focused attention and heightened suggestibility. It aims to make lasting changes by influencing the subconscious mind, the part of our mind that is often responsible for our habits, behaviours, and self-beliefs. This form of therapy can address and resolve the underlying psychological factors that may be sabotaging your health and fitness efforts. Perhaps you have deep-seated beliefs that you're not athletic or that exercise is punishing. Maybe you have a pattern of emotional eating. Hypnotherapy can help reprogram these unhelpful subconscious beliefs and behaviours. In the context of fitness and health, hypnotherapy can: 1. **Increase Motivation:** Hypnotherapy can help increase your drive and dedication towards achieving your health and fitness goals. It can cultivate a more positive outlook towards physical activity, transforming it from a dreaded task to an enjoyable habit. 2. **Improve Self-belief:** If you struggle with self-confidence, hypnotherapy can help change these perceptions. It can foster a sense of self-belief, ensuring you feel capable and ready to achieve your fitness objectives. 3. **Develop Healthy Eating Habits:** Hypnotherapy can also address issues related to food and diet, helping to establish healthy eating patterns and combat emotional or stress eating. It's all a journey of self love The journey towards fitness is not just about the physical effort but also about understanding and harnessing the power of the mind and the heart. Hypnotherapy is an effective way to tap into this power, helping you overcome barriers, and propelling you forward towards your health and fitness goals. The image of the man and woman happily swinging heart-shaped kettlebells is not just a display of physical strength, but a testament to the power of the mind in the journey of fitness. With the right mindset, heartset and soulset and tools, like hypnotherapy, you too can shape your journey towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life.

Let's look at how we can redefine money in a way that allows us to use it's energy to live the life we truly desire

In the journey of life, the people we surround ourselves with play a profound role in shaping our experiences, beliefs, and overall well-being. While many perceive family, loved ones, friends and even work colleagues as pillars of support, there are instances where their influence can unknowingly become a source of energy drain, hindering our dreams and motivation. In this blog, we explore how the people we cherish can inadvertently impact our lives and how establishing clear communication and boundaries can help protect our energy, leading to a life of abundance and meaningful connections.

Fear: it's one of the most fundamental emotions that we humans experience, and often the most obstructive. An invisible force, lurking in the shadows of our minds, it binds us, holds us back, and stops us from reaching our full potential. Why is this? It's simple; our minds love what is familiar. Comfort zones are cozy, safe, and predictable. Change, however, is scary. It's unknown territory and our minds naturally resist it. This is why we find it so difficult to take that one action that could propel us to a completely different life. It is estimated that a whopping 99% of us prefer to stay where we are, bound by societal norms and values, than to break free and take the road less travelled. It's no surprise then, that our dreams, concealed "under the duvet", stay as dreams unless we muster the courage to take action.

What if being selfish is selfcare What if to serve others we need to serve ourselves first

What if it was all actually going to plan? If you had told me years ago that failure was just the universe directing you towards greatness, I would have rolled my eyes, called you an idiot and kept bitching and moaning about how unfair life was and that it was everyone else’s fault. Now I still bitch and moan but quickly shift my perspective towards being grateful for each experience I have so I can learn the lesson What is happening in your life and what is the lesson? What’s the plan?

In an ever connected world we are surrounded by infinite possibilities. So why are we so lonely?

Meet Andrew Goff Andy Goff is the founder of Interactive Opportunities (IO) based in Shrewsbury - a successful company which has built a solid reputation on being passionate about helping schools, businesses and brands to create new learning opportunities for children. Andy spent 15 years as a teacher, including time as a deputy head, before running all manner of eclectic, mostly ed-tech businesses, and setting up his IO consultancy - an area of expertise that begins with ideas and research and then follows a process which turns those ideas into businesses or initiatives. It was during one such project that Andy suffered a major setback. A five-year partnership soured to the point where he was effectively pushed out, something which had a negative impact on his energy, positivity and creativity and led to him “Losing most of his faith in other human beings". Andy explains how a chance meeting turned things around: Meeting Marcus “I’ve worked all over the world with my businesses and decided to go back to what I knew best, which is under the bonnet business at schools". "I joined Shropshire Chamber of Commerce in order to network and get to know other businesses and it was at one of the breakfast meetings where Marcus gave a presentation". “I loved what he said about his journey and having to build back himself. I’ve been a teacher coach, I recognise the importance of coaching and I have never really come across anyone like Marcus". “It was something that appealed to me and I wanted to learn more. We had a further chat and his energy and enthusiasm, not just for being a business but also for his desire to actually help other human beings, was infectious.” The challenge “I had worked with another business and had a rough ride. It didn’t end well and that’s why I went to Marcus, for his support. I recognised that I needed to square the circle of what had gone on for the previous five years". “I had founded a business based on my ideas and research, developed it with the other business which then became the main investor and technology provider. There was a huge investment in it and my aim was for it to grow and provide a great income for my children when I’m not here". “But over the last two years of the relationship I was being distanced and ostracised. I think I was too honest, too vocal. They wanted me to say everything was great and wonderful but it wasn’t and it was only something that could be sorted out by being honest, so that led to the point where I was pushed out". “I thought I was building to achieve security for my family but it quickly became obvious that I wasn’t. I was a person whose glass was always at least half full but what happened to me made me lose most of my faith in other human beings and my self-confidence". “I needed to get some coaching which crossed business and personal and would help me say OK, put the building blocks back in this order and let’s go forward again". The solution Andy said he has had about half a dozen coaching sessions over the last three to four months with the benefits quickly becoming evident. He continued: “The sessions were really insightful and several things came to light which cumulatively could have potentially been quite disastrous. It’s not so much about explaining and detangling those, it’s more about highlighting the positives, stopping beating yourself up and being so self-critical". "Realise you are really doing a good job, so give yourself a pat on the back". “I wouldn’t want to label it in terms of tension, worry or anxiety, I was just keen to get back to where I was before! I wanted to re-discover my self-esteem, positivity and get back to being a happier person". “The help from Marcus has mainly been the conversation and the sharing of examples, those bits and pieces in conversations which are usually too fast and too full to remember much of" Marcus would say: “Where are you going to concentrate your energy? It’s not about what is on your to-do list, it’s not about how you construct your day, it’s about what you are going to give your energy to. And that was something he was able to nurture out". “It’s not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it’s about how many times you stand up again and Marcus helped me stand up!” The transformation Andy said he felt reinvigorated, just like pressing the reset button, and was now back to his energetic self with about half a dozen projects on the go - two of which are in the process of being spun out as separate business entities. He explained: “Meeting Marcus has helped me re-establish my creativity and my energy. I am back working in very senior circles talking about the education of our future generations of children . . . and I’m being listened to"! “Every day is much more positive for me, I have a spring in my step again and am back to being passionate about what I do. The bad experience of what happened to me has added more positivity to where I’m going - it’s helped me learn and add to what I do in the future. Marcus has got me back on track to what I want to do". “Marcus has a dynamic toolbox of skills, personality and academic knowledge which can help people back on the road to achieving their potential. I think my experience with Marcus can best be summed up with an encounter I had the other day. I met another Chamber member, who said: “Andy, you’ve only been around here for about three months but boy have you come at us with energy!” Coaching not only can have a positive impact on you personally but it's the ripple effect that benefits everyone around you that is the most powerful thing you experience.

Meet Julia Julia Cork runs Totty’s in Welshpool Powys Wales, a beauty salon which caters for all kinds of beauty treatments and aesthetics. Julia started her business in mid-lockdown about two-and-a-half years ago, initially working from home before expanding into business premises. She has successfully grown the business to the point where she needed more room to meet increasing demand and, on November 18th 2022, opened a new salon in Berriew Street which is three times as large as her old premises and will feature a new sunbed tanning service. Julia now has two staff members helping her in the salon and business success has been achieved around juggling the needs of a young family. Here is her story: “A lot has happened over the last couple of years, I was growing a business through a pandemic, I lost my mother a year ago and I nearly split up with my boyfriend. Before things started to go really well, they were going really bad". “I had been doing a lot of work by myself and just knew that there was something missing. I realised that my self-belief was holding me back from reaching my goals, so I did some pretty extensive research and found that while a lot of people can have therapy, it was more about the inner work that I wanted - like self concept". “It was then a matter of searching for coaches online. That resulted in a few consultations with other people but Marcus was the one I felt I connected with the most. it was a case of for me to take a step further in my business, I needed to believe in myself a bit more - it was really all about self-belief". “Just talking things through has proved so beneficial. I have always been a spiritual kind of person anyway so I knew there was this block and he’s helped me deal with that, in part through meditation". “There has also been the reassurance of knowing that Marcus was there and always available, only a message away. I have never really had anything like that before". "I have a couple of coaching sessions left and have also started an online course with him - group sessions which target more for the business side of things, like setting goals and things like that". The transformation “I am in a much better place now and have learnt that I also need to put myself first a little bit more, rather than everyone else. My relationship with my kids is better - my boyfriend would always say that he hated mornings in our house but he has seen a massive improvement in the last couple of months". “Overall it’s been really good and I feel like a completely different person. A lot of things happen daily and I think that had they happened six months ago, I would have had a breakdown or flown off the handle. Now I am more chilled about a lot of things, far better able to deal with them". “As I said earlier, I did have a few calls with other people before approaching Marcus - there are a lot of life coaches out there but they haven’t been through the life experiences of Marcus. He has been there, hit rock bottom and built himself back up, so you can connect with him a lot more because he has experienced it all.” Since working with me Julia has gone from strength to strength both in her business and in her personal relationships The solution “My first therapy session with Marcus was in September. He took me back to my childhood and made me look at things a lot differently. He has helped a lot with my personal relationship, and then we have the coaching calls which are really good for me, changing my mindset and heartset on a lot of things - making me think more positively than negatively". By finding the root cause to the way she flt Julia has not only overcome the anxiety but as a result this transformation has had a positive benefit on all areas of her life. If you would like to find out more then book a free consultation

"Words are powerful and your mind is listening" - Marisa Peer

I asked the universe "How can I be seen for the value I bring as a therapist and coach?" It appears I have to start a workout program - That sucks!!!!!

If you want to really know how someone is feeling look into their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul. When I was serving as a police officer, so many times, when I was dealing with maybe a violent or disruptive person, I would always notice the same thing. Although the physical body was in trauma, was trying to gain control of the battle, the eyes looked lost. The shame of struggle, of disconnection was real. The solution to disconnection is Armour up!!!! God forbid anyone who sees the armour right?

Isn't it strange how one concept reframed can change your view point.

Mental Health in the workplace is often talked about but the primary cause of mental health issues and wellbeing is little to do with the job but the relationships and the style of leadership promoted by the organisation. Leadership is not defined by structure but by action and inaction for the betterment of others, not self. From my own experience there are policies, posters and leadership courses but that seems to be where it ends. Leadership is about empathy and connection, not a five point plan or an NVQ Level 6 in Leadership. Many organisation believe as long as they have a policy on leadership and put their senior managers through leadership courses then that will fix the issues around culture. Leaders aren't managers and managers aren't always leaders and here's why. Let’s start with the premise that if your culture and leadership is perfect, then you should never need to discipline anyone, and staff turnover should be very low. Great leaders create more leaders not followers. Great leaders are flexible and open, they are confident in their abilities and know that failure and mistakes are part of the process. A leader coaches, mentors and makes meaningful connection. People in leadership positions, who are really managers, can often find themselves suffering from low self-esteem and confidence trying to fit into the management culture, rather than expressing their own style and leading, prefering to fit in to climb the ladder, this often will express itself with a need to control all outcomes. To contain and control their environment they will create barriers and processes and disguise this as risk management or policy, often ensuring they have a way of blaming others for mistakes, disguising their responsibility as delegation. Poor leaders take credit when things go well and deflect blame when they don’t? It’s a natural human response, when we are attacked we will either fight, flight, freeze or fawn. But good leaders learn to avoid the temptation to blame others or hoard credit, they are happy in their environment and have the ability to be flexible through change. A great CEO will take the responsibility, for every every decision and that the mistake by someone in their care is a reflection that they didn't support that person well enough, regardless of whether the had management responsibility over them. So let’s look at some of the types of leaders and how that might affect mental wellbeing. As you read this reflect and see which one you are and look at how your leadership style reflects those around you. Remember a leader is not always in a position of authority, we are all in a position of responsibility both for ourselves and those around us. When we take responsibility we are able to respond, to thrive collectively. As you read through be aware of how you feel. Do I feel Supported? Why? How is my Wellbeing? If it’s not good, Why? Am I in the right tribe? Why? I have taken 5 common styles of leadership : Autocratic, Democratic, Laissez-Faire, Transactional, Transformational Each of these leadership styles has its benefits and its drawbacks, and each is more effective in certain place types than others. Sometimes, the most effective leadership style depends on the mix of personalities present or the mix of experience levels. Understanding and ensuring the right style is matched to the right role and environment is really important. Often the people recruiting candidates into positions, may not have the knowledge of what is required to thrive in that position, they will often have unconscious bias and feel that person won’t fit in due to their preference to a specific style. We should always be aware of this unconscious bias. Take this clip of Susan Boyle: Note the panels reaction until they see her value, her voice Look on the judges and audience faces, they are judging her before she has even been given the chance. How many times have you made a decision based on socialtal norms?

Stick with me because the start of this blog may seem a little weird but this is a true story and I wrote it to demonstrate that when something happens that makes no sense, months, years later you come to realise the significance of a moment. About 18 months ago I worked with a colleague on some blocks and whilst under hypnosis I got a scene. That scene was me as a baby elephant following my mother - told you this might sound weird. The scene felt real and there was a belief I was not safe - needleless to say, that session would lead to me to understanding that for me to live my purpose, I needed to leave the police and become a fulltime therapist. What happened two days ago would bring that session forward and give a new context. Often the reason why we don't believe something is possible, is because we are blinded by our subconscious programming. Our reality is simply the result of experiences, attached to feelings which, when repeated, become who we believe we are. Elephant Facts THEY CAN IDENTIFY LANGUAGES - Researchers at the University of Sussex in Brighton, discovered that African elephants can distinguish differences in human gender, age, and ethnicity purely by the sound of someone’s voice. If the voice belongs to a person who is more likely to pose a threat, the elephants switch into defensive mode. THEY CAN USE TOOLS - In 2010, a 7-year-old Asian elephant named Kandula impressed researchers by utilising tools from his surroundings to reach fruit that had been strategically placed just beyond his reach. After watching the fruit, tantalizingly, for a few days, Kandula had an "aha moment." He found a large plastic block, rolled it over, and stepped on it, propping himself up just far enough to reach the fruit with his trunk. While Kandula’s “aha moment” didn’t happen immediately, it stuck with him. He repeated the trick with other tools, and even figured out how to stack blocks to reach even higher. THEY UNDERSTAND HUMAN BODY LANGUAGE - Researchers recently observed evidence that elephants might understand human pointing. They tested this by pointing at food hidden in one of two identical containers, and observing which container a group of captive African elephants approached. Without any previous training, the elephants picked the correct container almost 68 percent of the time. That’s only about 5 percent lower than how one-year-old human babies perform on similar tests. When researchers stood between the containers and did not point, the elephants approached them randomly. THEY SHOW EMPATHY - A recent study observed Asian elephants comforting one another when distressed. The elephants in the study used both physical contact and vocal sounds as forms of comfort, stroking one another with their trunks and emitting small chirps. The study concluded this behavior is "best classified with similar consolation responses by apes, possibly based on convergent evolution of empathic capacities. THEY MOURN THEIR DEAD - It would be a stretch to say elephants, or any other animals, understand death in the same way humans do. But elephants have demonstrated fascinating reactions to the deaths of their kind, often displaying what appear to humans as symptoms of grief and mourning. They caress the bones of the dead with their trunks and will stand near the body of the deceased for hours. Sometimes they even try to bury the remains. They don't behave this way toward the remains of other animals. In this powerful photo, taken by John Chaney for National Geographic, a female elephant "very slowly and with much empathy wrapped her trunk around the deceased elephant’s tusk. She stayed in this position for several hours…" THEY MIMIC HUMAN VOICES - An Asian elephant named Koshik baffled researchers in 2012 when they realised he could say five words in Korean. "If you consider the huge size of the elephant and the long vocal tract and other anatomic differences—for example he has a trunk instead of lips... and a huge larynx—and he is really matching the voice pitch of his trainers, this is really remarkable," said Dr. Angela Stoeger, a lead author of a study about Koshik that appeared in Current Biology. While it is almost certain Koshik doesn’t comprehend the meaning of the words, the researchers believe he began mimicking sound as a way to bond with humans, which were his only form of social contact during his formative years. THEY HAVE EXTRAORDINARY MEMORIES - Elephants can remember routes to watering holes over incredibly long stretches of time and space. This is necessary for elephants that live in the desert where water is scarce. Research also shows that elephants often form close bonds with companions, and can recognize them even after long periods of separation. Dr. Shermin de Silva, now director of the Uda Walawe Elephant Research Project in Sri Lanka, said in 2011 that “Elephants are able to track one another over large distances by calling to each other and using their sense of smell … Our work shows that they are able to recognize their friends and renew these bonds even after being apart for a long time." In 1999, two elephants named Shirley and Jenny, once companions in a circus, reunited at The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee after more than 20 years apart. Their immediate bonding can be seen in the video above, shot during their reunion. Source: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/55640/7-behaviors-prove-elephants-are-incredibly-smart So what's my point? Are many of these things not human characteristics? Given that premise, let me tell you about a dream I had. I don't know if I have read this, heard this or it actually appeared in a dream, but I do believe from my research this story is true.

Wow – controversial title right? Not really, maybe not factually correct, but there is a lot of truth in it and from my own experience, it’s not about not wanting help, but when you are suffering with real anxiety your mind is clouded and the road to freedom seems impossible to travel. Your perception of life is skewed and you validate this by looking for evidence to support your feelings, to make connection. I know this because I’ve been there. This article does not represent a clinical trial or study, but an observation of my own experience as a police officer, therapist and someone who has suffered with feeling so anxious I just wanted to end it all, it’s also the journey for many of my clients. So what is anxiety? I’ll give my definition and then my realisation. There is a massive difference between feeling anxious and anxiety and all the permutations thereof. We are programmed to fear, it’s a survival instinct that goes back to the dawn of man, except instead of fearing being eaten by a sabre tooth tiger we now fear the boss, not having enough money or enough likes on our latest insta post. We have an easier life in many respects, but it’s also more complex. We are taught to use logic, but the mind does not work off logic, it works off emotion. Yet we seldom give note to those feelings, instead we suppress them, mask them. WHY? Survival We are tribal and we need to connect and when we don’t connect, we don’t feel good enough , we feel different and t hat’s when our survival mode kicks in . Cortisol races through our brains shutting down the logical, rational part of our brain. As the cloud descends, we literally get ready to fight, flea or freeze. When we are anxious and surrounded by people who support us, they pick up on this energy. If we accept the right help, we can soon return to our natural flow state. Stress allows us to learn, thrive and when we learn to harness it and see it as a friend, life can be great. But we have been taught that being vulnerable, scared, is weakness and despite the marketing campaigns “It’s Good to Talk” our primitive subconscious makes us weary. Maybe it should be “It’s good to feel emotionally disconnected, it’s your mind and body telling you to change path” I guess it doesn’t have the same ring though. Unless we feel safe and connected we will do what we can to survive and that is when it all starts going wrong. The minds job is to take us from pain to pleasure, but it doesn’t know what that is unless we tell it. If what we tell it is familiar, then that is what it will present as our reality. I would describe the old me as a functioning anxious person. What I mean by that is I built a persona – a confident, articulate person, I played the part I thought I needed to play. The fact is though that part wasn’t me. How long can you tell a lie for before you get caught out or have to tell another lie to substantiate the last one. Before you know it the lie becomes the truth, your truth, your mask, your fake persona. If 1 in 4 people are suffering with mental health issues then you’ll either be that person or know that person. But you probably aren’t aware they are having difficulty because they probably don’t know themselves. The media, the press, governments, even our friends, family and peers help us build our masks so we can find our place in society, to fit in, to conform, to survive. Anxiety itself is a mask, it is a label which puts us in a box so we can connect with those who are like us, so we can compare who is suffering the most?

Now I have your attention I want you to watch this video again

It’s 2020 and the world is in the midst of a global pandemic, so to quote the amazing Bruce Lipton “The MATRIX is not a film, it’s a documentary”. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but the psychology around what is happening in the world today is amazing. Many are in fear, some are just getting on with it, but a few are wondering "IS THIS REAL, IS THIS WHAT LIFE HAS COME TO"? Who is looking at the link between those getting sick and dying? Let's make a simple and change the word disease to dis-ease, another word stress, anxiety. How many of you are in fear or the whole Covid situation and it is compounding your stress. What I do know, is that our perception of the world can become distorted and reality and fiction can often become blurred. When an action, thought or feeling is repeated, it soon becomes automatic and we lose sight of what is real and what isn’t or do we? The theory of evolution by natural selection, first formulated in Darwin's book "On the Origin of Species" in 1859, is the process by which organisms change over time as a result of changes in heritable physical or behavioural traits. We see this as organic and physical, but these changes are driven by transference of energy, unseen overtime. The MATRIX is not an entity outside you, it is you, you are the MATRIX, you are the creator. Many seek to find the answers to all of life’s questions from those who they see as superior, the winners, the leaders, they seek to find knowledge from the outside, they do this to find comfort and safety in the tribe. Those who know, understand that the answers to life’s questions, to your purpose for being here, lie deep down in the operating system that is running your life – Your Brilliant Mind. As a former Soldier, Geek and Police Officer, I have always been a natural inquisitive soul, never quite conforming but desperate for connection and looking to explore my own meaning to this thing, this experience we call life. I have spent too many years looking for the answers outside me. Critical of others, I once, like many of you, sought to label the things I didn't understand, blaming and complaining living in lack. We are all trying to find our tribe, our purpose, our why and as we load the programmes onto our operating system we inherit or choose to install, we become slow, stuck, and often crash. We believe someone else has the answer and we are marketed too by companies, politicians and a raft of other people to bring us into their tribe, snuff out the competition, so we are tribal viruses. Some wish to co-exist, some wish to destroy. We are not so different to the virus which plagues our biological circuits. It’s time to defrag, upgrade and look behind the GUI (Graphical User Interface) and look deep into the coding which is running your life, where are those beliefs come from and ask are they real, are they facts or a story you tell yourself, which then creates a feeling in which you take action or don't take any action, through fear. Let us plugin, go down the rabbit hole and discover together your MATRIX. Dare to live your precious days on Earth to your fullest, true to yourself, with open heart and thoughtful mind, and with the courage to change what doesn’t work and accept the consequences. You may find that you can fly farther than you ever imagined.” If you want to stand up and say this is me, to dream again and make those dreams a reality, even though you were told it wasn’t possible, why don't you? You do have a choice, stay small, stay the dork or unleash the inner geek and stand up and say this is me. Many people dream about the life they want, but many are not willing to give away the life they have, even if it causes them pain. This is how our feelings are controlled, we believe without thought, because we look outward for answers, for the vaccine to change our lives - are we not doing that now with Covid? The operating systems (the life) we run, which is installed on us from birth is not fixed, genetics does not play a part in who you are, you are not your creation, you are your manifestation. Innovation of self can be difficult, as we look to others to do the work, but that will come at a cost, how much are you willing to pay? You have one life and it is your responsibility to choose the operating system, the programmes, and apps you install. It is ok to use an existing operating system whilst you develop your coding skills, but make sure you know how that code serves you and when to use it. If you don’t keep upgrading and evolving, the malware will creep in and start to take over your life and before you know it you will attract the viruses, which unchecked, will cause your operating system to crash and ultimately you will become another piece of abandoned technology destined to be recycled. So whatever your choice it's right for you as long as you are happy to stay feeling the way you do.

I am going to let you into a secret. My own struggles with anxiety were never realised until my mind and body forced me down a path I was unwilling to go. You don't go from feeling amazing and free to feeling the symptoms of stress and anxiety over night. Like poison dripping into a lake over time, it is only when the fish are gone and the lake is left dead and dying do we ask the question WHY? You see you aren't born with anxiety, depression or in fact anything other than the will to live, survive and up to the age of around 8 we absorb our environment taking it as read, this is what life looks like. We learn this from family, friends, teachers and our environmental experiences. After 8 we often start to look outside the tribe to seek purpose, fulfillment, to explore and try new things. During this period we will often feel stress and anxiousness as we gain independence, questioning our own values and that of others. We create feelings as markers and then attach stories as a reference to justify them. How we are taught to de-code those experiences is often the difference between those who thrive and those who survive. But when does that manifest into true anxiety? We create a belief system that we are different, not good enough and that our story has been written and we will never escape, and why is it that we don't believe that story can change? Well we are all different and the way we react and act is going to be influenced by what we believe about ourselves and the world, but based on what? The image top right is taken from an article by my mentor Marisa Peer about Stress and Anxiety in Children. https://marisapeer.com/stress-and-anxiety-in-children/ But I want you to consider that actual stress, anxiety, depression, illness, whatever label you want to attach are all based on our own inner child's reaction to the stories we tell ourselves everyday. So consider are your thoughts yours now, or are they the voice of a small child trapped in a moment?

THE HIDDEN PANDEMIC YOU CAN’T GET AN INJECTION FOR

The Obviousness of Serenity    "One of the greatest obstacles we have to overcome in order to transform, is to accept that our past reality may not always serve us now or in the future. We cling on to what we know, like a child clinging onto a parent in a scary or difficult situation".  This analogy embodies the very core of why we act and react in the way we do. For those of you who have worked with me will know, that much of what we do, is to recognise and empower the inner child.  The thoughts and feelings we have are not ours now, they are created by our experience and feelings of the past. With awareness we can let go of some need from others or for things, especially in our physical lives, like the need for stabilisers on a bike or the need for our parents to feed us food, but other things, like feelings, which are more emotionally, not physical are linked to our need for, love, freedom, peace, serenity.  We often seek to find these things from others - connection, validation, purpose.  If we cannot find that need from others, we look to things to feed that need of connection.  We are looking outwardly for that serenity and there are so many that will feed that addiction.   It is never about the thing, but the feeling, however short lived, we seek a feeling, not the thing itself, yet we are taught that things will bring us serenity, why?  It feeds the same need of the person offering it you.  If McDonalds didn’t sell burgers they would be broke, millions of people would lose their jobs, share holders would loose all their money, homes and we grasp longingly onto these things, like a baby holding onto a parent for security, but they can be taken away at anytime and this is why this pandemic is so dangerous.  It is not the virus, the thing, it is the thought of what it can take from us.  Once you can accept you can lose everything, even you physical life and everything will be OK, because it was never yours in the first place, however painful, accept that fact, accept you will be OK, then and only then will you be at peace.  Just think of this phrase “My Hand”, you are not your hand, it is yours, like my iPad, like my Prada handbag, my car – your body belongs to you, your soul, spirit is the essence of you.  Yet the seeking, the thing we want, does not bring us the feeling we require, in fact it brings us stress, panic and the feeling of failure to obtain what society tells us will bring us what we desire, the very ease we seek brings us dis-ease.  You feel inadequate because someone else says you should have or be, or that is at least a belief, conscious or subconscious.   No one in power or influence gives you self-empowerment, the people you seek the answers from, often have their own interests at heart, but we are told this is selfish to put ourselves first.   Why can they serve themselves first, but you cannot? Who says you cannot?    They know that to serve you must first take, you cannot drink from an empty cup, if you give without giving to yourself, you will overtime, become thirsty.   Now you may say well the government have power, I cannot do as I please. This is not true, you can do what you please but there will be a choice.   Often we seek to get the the thing not the feeling, you can at anytime give yourself the feeling you desire when you give away the connecting story which stops you from receiving it.   Don’t let people drink from your cup, set aside what you wish to serve and let them drink from the saucer, because as you grow in strength so will the level of your service.  The dis-ease or disease will start as a feeling and may if untreated manifest into physical form, weight issues, cancers, flu.  The ease will manifest the opposite. So choose.  No vaccine will bring you serenity, no pill will take away pain because you are treating a feeling with a thing. Yes it may give temporary respite and yes this is actually its intention, but we cling onto the quick fix, we treat the thing like a parent.  Do you still live with your parents, could you live full-time with your parents?  If the answer is no, then why do you live full-time with the thoughts that do not bring you peace, love, freedom, serenity.   People, things, cannot give you what you desire, only you can do that.  Yet you continue smoking because it gives a temporary fix then scoff at paying for the knowledge and experience which will give you the actually thing you want, the knowledge which will give you the choice to break free.  The knowledge which you possess inside is free, you just need to know how to get to it, but you refuse to seek the actual thing which will give you the thing you desire most, peace, freedom, serenity.  When you pay for knowledge you pay for knowing, for energy. You pay for the thing you want and energetic feeling.   You pay for electricity to power your TV, you do not get to keep the electricity, it flows in and out, you simply accept that without it the thing will not work.  Then why when you feed your body and mind poor energy and your picture of life is grainy you are willing to accept this.  The covid 19 pandemic is a case in point, now I am not going to discuss the merits of how this is being handled, but look at how the media and governments are tackling the outbreak by repression and shutting down.   The disease is causing further dis-ease.  Yes, there is talk about exercise more, do this, do that – there is advice on what to do and how to do it but nothing about why.  Why is it that some people are coping, some thriving, whilst others are suffering and I don’t mean by having covid, but maybe the thought of getting it, the feeling of isolation, the change in what is familiar.  Why are some OK and others not.  You are God, you are the creator. When the bible says God created man in his own image, we take that as in physical form, it is tangible we can visualise it, but what is meant by this is God, the universe, whatever your belief system, you are God, you are your own creator and you do have choice.  In Neale Donald Walsch’s book, Conversations with God , God explains that to first experience love, you must experience loneliness, to experience joy you must experience pain. If you do not experience the opposite of what it is you desire then you have nothing to compare it to.  The question to why God makes things happen, cruelty, war, hate, God answers (and I paraphrase) by saying” I created you in my image, I do not control you, I have given you the choice, I have offered only the experience and I God, the universe gave you choice, to choose which feelings you create within you. I have created you in my image therefore you are God, you are the creator”.  Stop seeking to blame others because experience is the lesson, you then choose what you create from that experience.  Our societies are built on experiences of people in the past, they offer solutions that work for them. Who is to say what is right for them, is right for you?  Who is to say that their interpretation, even my interpretation is right for you?  I simply, like others, offer a path of choice which may or may not serve you.  Evolution by its very nature creates and destroys and from destruction comes new life.  Your feelings are the very fertiliser that will allow you to grow abundance, but if you feed your soul with negativity, you will not grow.  If you seek to just trim the weeds you will only create a temporary reality.  Seeking the root cause and changing how that is fed will be the key.  I recently asked a number of people if they would trust the advice from a person who had experienced something personally such as anxiety and PTSD and overcome it, over a medic, a doctor who had merely studied it but never truly experienced it.  Two thirds said they would speak to someone who had been through it and come out the other side, conversely the medics stated it was irresponsible and people should seek medical advice always – why?  They have followed a path that gives them status, ego and they have been told this is how it is, they cling onto this thought because their inner child is hurt and they seek solace from what they know, their safety, comfort, their parent who surely cannot be wrong.   I never stated which was the right thing to do, just invoked a question.  Have we not been defending family honour for years?  Have most wars been founded on the interpretation of God’s word?  God’s word, the governments word must not be questioned or there will be consequences - these are the word of man's interpretation of God, or what it is like to be the creator.  God did not create evil, man created evil in God’s name because we are God, we are the creator, because God, the universe made it so.  But acceptance of this is hard, so we deflect, create images and stories to escape the truth that we are the creator.  The answers to why you need connection resides inside not outside, the need is with the inner child, within your inner God, if you stop and listen you already have the answers but we are preoccupied in listening to the other person’s God not our own, then criticise when it all goes wrong for us.

We are all fighting against an invisible enemy, a virus which is killing people. As humans we are no different than Covid 19, we are a virus looking to survive on a host. A powerful virus that can impact its host in the same negative way, but there is another virus attacking your greatness, this virus, which we inject like a vaccine into ourselves everyday to suppress us living an uncompromising life is rejection. Rejection is the foundation to keeping us small, viruses come in all shapes and sizes

Weighed down, you have been carrying this for so long. Fancy actually living the life you want? Not the life you have? Stop carrying that load, create a lighter life, the life you secretly desire? Oh by the way I don’t mean the one you think you want. The house, The job, The car, The clothes. Those are the things that you are seeking to validate yourself in the world, to prove how successful you are, those things enslave you. Gold, Glory, Girls and Guys will not bring you happiness until you find you again.